Outlander actor Scott Kyle says becoming a foster carer to his two teenagers has been the “best job on the planet” but also one of his most challenging.
The award winning actor and producer, who was placed in care by his single mother during his childhood, spoke out while hosting an interview with a leading child expert in the first of a new podcast series – Family Talks – run by child care provider, Care Visions. .
The 41-year-old Scottish actor, renowned for his roles in TV series Outlander, and the Ken Loach Film, The Angels Share, was discussing the overuse of screen and social media use amongst children as part of a new online talk series.
Scott, who began caring for the 13 and 14 year old youngsters with his wife Karen during the lockdown, is now looking after the youngsters on a permanent basis which he said while challenging has changed his life for the better: “It changed my life.” He added that being a foster carer is: “The best job I’ve had in my 41 years on the planet.”
Speaking to the care expert Anita Cleare, author of a new book How to Get Your Teenager Out of Their Bedroom, he added: “I was in care when I was younger, that follows me everywhere I go.”
And he said he always worries about making sure his children have the best upbringing possible, often asking himself: “Am I handling that properly? Am I doing that right?”
During his discussion Anita Cleare explained these were age old questions that had plagued parents for generations. However an added difficulty now, she said, was social media, pointing out that while 20 years ago the bedroom was a refuge, online had made it less safe.
She said: “The whole teenage development project is about independence. That’s what their developmental goal is, that whole of the second decade. And to do that, they need to separate from family and parents….And bedrooms are like these little natural training grounds where they can do some of that. So teens withdraw to their bedrooms to practice being independent and take control over their space…. However, I think now there’s a problem, because more often than not, teenagers have screens or digital devices in those bedrooms. So it’s like a magnetic pull towards their bedroom that is incredibly strong, whereas in the past, the TV was downstairs. If I wanted to watch it, I had to go into the family. I had to leave my room. Nowadays, devices have such a strong pull that parents really don’t know what to do about it.”
Ms Cleare believes the ‘pull’ of devices is partly down to the fact parents have become so scared of the 21 st century world they do not give children the freedom to roam outside their houses that they themselves enjoyed.
She said: “We love our kids to pieces, and we put a lot of effort in and these days. We supervise them a lot. But the current generation of parents are incredibly risk averse. We have reasons to be risk averse, because the environment that we’re bringing up our kids in, often is quite dangerous in terms of things like traffic and cars, but this environment has not taken children’s play needs into account. This has led to a real shift between children playing independently, outside, playing with each other, and playing individually in the home, increasing the likelihood of children spending more time on devices.
“As a society, we have become less tolerant of children being children, of children playing, of children making mistakes, of children being out on the streets and teenagers doing stuff that teenagers do. Parents feel like they’re going to get blamed if teenagers behave in this way.”
She also said parents should not rely on tech companies to protect children from harmful screen use, but should themselves help children navigate the online world: “Parents are becoming deskilled as a result of technology. But parents need to learn how to use this tool and teach their children how to use it safely.”Care Visions Family Talks aims to share professional insights and expertise on child care to a broad audience.
It is hosted by Scott Kyle, an active mentor to young people, and Dr. Linda de Caestecker, former Director of Public Health for Greater Glasgow and Clyde.
“As a society, we have become less tolerant of children being children, of children playing, of children making mistakes, of children being out on the streets and teenagers doing stuff that teenagers do. Parents feel like they’re going to get blamed if teenagers behave in this way.”
She also said parents should not rely on tech companies to protect children from harmful screen use, but should themselves help children navigate the online world: “Parents are becoming deskilled as a result of technology. But parents need to learn how to use this tool and teach their children how to use it safely.”
Care Visions Family Talks aims to share professional insights and expertise on child care to a broad audience.
It is hosted by Scott Kyle, an active mentor to young people, and Dr. Linda de Caestecker, former Director of Public Health for Greater Glasgow and Clyde.
